Oooh, This has some whine.

I always feel a bit sad when it's time to say goodbye to a year. This year is no exception. It's not been an easy one at times but it definitely has taught me that I am strong and I am capable and that I can do anything I choose if I turn my mind to it. I don't always get the results I want or as quick as I want them but I can see the lessons involved and the growth that is made.

Today I said goodbye to my kids as they will be with their Dad for the next few weeks. It's always hard to see them go and to not be a part of their day-to-day. On the same hand I have learned to appreciate the time I am given and take comfort that they are having a wonderful, safe, and treasured time with their Dad.

See, aren't I a big girl now?

And now, I have 16 days spread out in front of me... for 16 days my responsibilities as a mother are, more or less, gone. I haven't been just Karie in so long. I think for 16 days it will probably feel like I have misplaced my phone the whole time, or that I have left my bag somewhere. Not that I see my kids as much-needed accessories but I know that sense of misplacement that ensues. I'll let it come and I will let it go.

What to do? If I had the cash, I'd be in Vietnam. Part of why it is hard to say goodbye to this year is because next year I didn't live in HCMC, next year I will not have seen my friends since last year. And next year, I will have to say last year when I talk about them and there. I whine but I miss miss miss miss...

But I will wipe away those tears because I look around and I see so much that I am so grateful for. I have amazing and wonderful friends, I am starting to feel a connection with the crafting community here and I want to foster that relationship. I have my parents who are a backbone, never wavering in their support of what I choose to do. I look around and I see a beautiful and blessed life and I have no complaints. Ok, yeah, the weather is the shits.

Over the next 16 days I want to really think about the changes I want to happen in 2011 both externally and internally. I feel the opportunity to live the life that I have always wanted (there are actually a few of them, is that normal?). A new page, a clean slate. Rather silly really that a simple change in date can create this feeling. Each and everyone one of us have it in ourselves to be the person we want to be and do the things we want to do, any day and in every moment. I have to remember that.

So 2010, there are big chunks of you that I never wish to visit again but there is so much more to you that holds cherished memories and experiences. Thank you. And to 2011, bring it on! I look forward to what you hold.

I wish you a very Happy New Year and the very best of you! To my friends here in close proximity and to those spread over the world, you are always in my heart no matter what the year or how many have passed. I love you dearly.